‘LIVE-IN’ LA VIDA LOCA

‘Marriage is an excellent institution, but then who wants to live in an institution’ - Animal Crackers - The Movie

If being together is what love wants, then marriage is hardly the only option today. Living in or shacking up, is simply about picking up your stuff and moving in with your honey. It's edgy, it's romantic and it's bohemian. So just pack your bags and move in, eh? Well, that’s easy (pun intended). Let me take you through a journey that most couples go through when "my place or your place" becomes "our place". So are you ready to go from 'dating' to 'committed' (strange how they use this term for prison and asylums too!).

Gender Bender

Say the word 'live -in' and some very modern yet opinionated men and women are sure to say, "He's a wolf" or "Oh, you guys aren’t married, you are not tied down (wink) (wink)." So, in apna des perceptions are obviously different from those in the West where living-in is a serious relationship move and a final step towards legal union. We on the other hand love the drama and suggestion of anything dirty; sinful. Any act against moral and social decency and everyone has an opinion. Women who live in are vamps in mini skirts, a cigarette dangling from red, sinful lips. Surprisingly it's these "bad" women who want to do chee chee things! And strangely a weird number of men seem to want marriage/ security.

Life for "opt for 'live-in' gals" is no longer trudging on a slow track. They rather not have all the extra baggage of marriage. No saas-bahu sagas, the name change, over-bearing in-laws and relatives who have a say about an "appropriate" life. Couples who opt to lead a sinful existence feel an absence of a farce or "so-called" formalities. His parents probably hate you anyways for corrupting their "gullible" little baby boy.
So, it’s perfectly ok to avoid his folks, no compulsory family get together or even a peep of interference once you made clear that you will not feed hordes of strangers to prove your love.

The Rude Awakening

Scene 1 - BOY: You have gone straight from living with parents to living in with your partner. The unlimited access to booty calls stops the blood flow to the brain, so you haven’t thought much. Reality will surely hit when you find that your pretty room mate will not pick up after you like your mother.
Scene 2 - GIRL: You have grown up on a diet of Yash Chopra romance. Well, the burps and farts are gonna hit you hard, babe!

Then there’s house to be kept, bills to be paid, dinner to be cooked, the tug of war over remotes and mad fights about whose turn it is to do what! Whoever said this isn’t like a marriage! Then, there's the cross-eyed gossipy aunt next door wanting to burrow into your ‘unsettled’ existence. Parents who force one of you undercover when they decide to pop in for a week incase your relationship status is incognito. So why do couples do this? For some bohemians, these minor irritants are not a big deal. Some do not want to be trapped in a loveless marriage after the honeymoon phase is through. Yet others find this option practical, economical and stress free.

Reality Check: Just so that you know, living together without others knowing it is a very secret and delicious affair. It is NOT a 'live-in' relationship.

The Guide to 'Living-in'

Do wild, whacky stuff together, keep it unconventional! Try and live it up every once in a while, head out of town often or it will start feeling like a real marriage, that too a bad one. Threaten to walk out every once in a while to keep each other on toes. While away lazy weekends in bed watching ‘You’ve Got Mail’ on DVD, get sloshed at the most happening club…after all, that’s pretty much why you bear those searing glances and comments from people who make it a point to discuss your "single" status. Well, that’s the flip side…discussing married life makes for boring conversation for bored people. So just grin and bear the inquisitive hum drum questions. If possible wear an ‘FCUK OFF' t-shirt.

All You Need Is Love

Marriage advocates preach - its sacred, it’s loyal, society…etc. etc. But, for skeptics, the message is loud and clear…IT"S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Why the dire need to ask permission for something that is totally personal? It's between two individuals whether they decide that society has a say in it or not.

And, if you decide to get HITCHED eventually, you know what you are getting into. Burps, Farts, PMS and temper tantrums…these are not alien concepts that will have you running to the divorce lawyers. There have been cases of couples demanding divorces over trivial matters like, "He doesn’t hug me everyday". So, it’s a world where you make the rules; you call the shots. Live-in a relationship is like living in another man/woman's shoes. It just might be that ten years down the line that this snappy symbol of freedom might turn the tables on the marriage-pundits.

The Hits…
Not smiling at strangers at an expensive wedding.
"In-laws", his/her relatives are not compulsory
No one will dare say, "You have to have kids, NOW!"
It's not paper that keeps you together

The Misses…
No expensive presents! No honeymoon
People think you are trying to "be cool"
Your "strange situation" is always up for comment
Legal Hassles